Alex Trebek diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer

Barstool Sports – Now I don’t know shit about shit (not an exaggeration), but I do know that pancreatic cancer isn’t good. Not at all. These types of stories end with cancer winning. Every time. We’re talking the Floyd Mayweather of diseases…undefeated, though unlike Floyd, this type of cancer comes out swinging and drops its opponent quickly. It doesn’t f*** around for 12 rounds.

Now I won’t lie and say I was a routine Jeopardy! viewer, but the occasional time that I’d tune in, he who demands only questions for answers would be CRUSHING IT. Without fail. —

In the lost city of Atlantis, a 20-foot tall statue of this individual staring up at the sky was once considered proof that aliens had visited Earth

(??????????)

Alex“ahhhh, I see. if you had remembered who imported psychedelics for the Atlantis elite, you wou….*knowledge knowledge knowledge, GIVES ANSWER* — witnessing Trebek shoot the three underlings vying for his approval an unmistakably condescending look after three seconds of buzzer-free silence never got old. It was as if he couldn’t fathom not knowing that Lord Voldemort was actually a real person who talked to aliens, on top of being the bad guy in Harry Potter…well that, and he had a card with the answer on it. But when did Alex ever look at those, seriously? Notta once.

 

(are people still reading this?)…As a kid, I can’t help but think Trebek had a profound (too much?) influence on me, likely as the guy on tv who I genuinely believed “had ALL the answers”. Whenever I craved knowledge — all the time –, I’d flick through the channels until I found Alex. There was no guide either; tv watchers back then had to, channel by channel, scroll until they landed on what they wanted. Not a single young person today would’ve coped.

Meanwhile, for me, the sound of Alex’s voice meant class was in session, and I was to pay attention. I mostly didn’t, and that’s why I get daily emails from Indeed.

Now to finish on a serious note — earlier, I know I said pancreatic cancer was undefeated. Basically, you get it, and your body has no answers to the questions it poses. Sadly, there are too many of these at the moment, and I say that while understanding that people exponentially more intelligent than me continue to, each and every day, devote themselves to finding answers. Someday, I know we’ll have all the answers to all the diseases.

For now, maybe Alex Trebek has the one for pancreatic cancer?

?What is “let’s hope”?


(Now, a video serving as proof that not everyone in America watches football. I’m willing to wager that Trebek, off-air, asked if contestants could be replaced mid-game after having to endure this)

 

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