APRÈS LA ROSE: (EP. 2) *Evil Demi is awesome*

We’re truly off!

After a mostly uneventful premiere, Season 23’s second episode (but really it’s first) featured several big reveals, including one that could change the complexion of this game entirely.

Also – Demi is a cold, cold you know what, and I’m totally here for it. And Cassie has more poise than Tom Brady.

Other observations –

  • Hannah B *wow*
  • What is Tracy still doing on the show? Does anybody know?
  • I was way off with some of my initial rankings. To be expected.

And finally – the rankings now feature IG follower counts for each contestant. No need to thank me for busting out the advanced metrics. 

(click here for last week’s power rankings)


1. CASSIE

Last week: 1 – IG followers up 20% from the previous week

Remains my ride-or-die in this competition.

Was completely unfazed by Demi’s antics.

(Kudos to Demi though. The show always needs a villain, and she’s absolutely crushing it early on.)

2. DEMI

Last week: 6 – IG followers up 31.3% from the previous week

Some (wo)men just want to watch the world burn…has assumed the role of villain and her antics have already fired up a few ladies in the house, most notably Tracy.

Failed to deliver on her promise to take home the first group date rose.

 

(Finally…Demi’s laugh is annoying on a criminal level.)

3. HEATHER

Last week: 22 – IG followers up 65.6% from the previous week

Heather’s story obviously vaults her up the rankings. Much like Colton, is in no hurry to do the dirty. Taking it one step further…Heather’s never kissed a boy.

I missed the mark on this, ranking her 22nd last week. Heather, at least for the time being, is a betting favourite.

4. KATIE

Last week: 5 – IG followers up 21.7% from the previous week

Katie put in a nice performance on the glamping date, opening Colton’s eyes in the process. I don’t think he had much time for her until finding out about their similar upbringings.

Creeping towards a top-three spot.

5. HANNAH G

Last week: 2 – IG followers up 15% from the previous week

Colton plopped Hannah G’s name in the middle of the rose ceremony, but her position there means very little.

Hannah isn’t going home, at least not anytime soon. *Doll status*

6. ELYSE

Last week: 15 – IG followers up 18.2% from the previous week

HUGE JUMP after a stellar showing! Came away with a rose on the show’s first group date.

With age comes wisdom, and Elyse, after her performance on the show’s first group date, may have Colton contemplating life with an older woman. Could the 26-year-old, former two-star recruit and all-American, fall in love with a 31-year-old makeup artist…?

(I mean…….yeah…totally!)

7. HANNAH B

Last week: 17 – IG followers up 39.6% from the previous week

Starred in the show’s first cringe-worthy solo date (also happened to be the first one-on-one date of the season). The first half of the date was a trainwreck, plain and simple. Hard to watch. The hot tub saved it…(hot tubs turn any bad situation immediately into a good one).

All that said, what an unbelievable comeback by Miss Alabama! She handled adversity better than I thought she could. Showing off that pageant experience early on.

8. TAYSHIA

Last week: 13  – IG followers up 14.9% from the previous week

Need to see more from her.

She may have snagged the first rose at the ceremony, and that is most certainly something to build off, but Tayshia needs to step it up if she’s going to advance to the later stages of the show.

Nothing but untapped potential at this point.

9. COURTNEY

Last week: 16 – IG followers up 6.2% from the previous week

Courtney didn’t have to wait very long for a rose at the ceremony, walking away with the fourth flower of the evening.

Laying in the weeds and has yet to make a real move, but the early rose is an encouraging sign.

10. BRI

Last week: 18 – IG followers up 7.6% from the previous week

Wasn’t really featured in this episode. Probably busy practicing a new accent.

11. ONYEKA

Last week: 9 – IG followers up 17.4% from the previous week

Nice to see some early fireworks between her and Sydney.

Remains most likely to get physical at some point.

12. SYDNEY

Last week: 7 – IG followers up 14.6% from the previous week

Might have saved her season by speaking with Colton at the cocktail party, Sydney desperately needs more screen time or she could be going home, possibly as early as next week.

13. KIRPA

Last week: dead last – IG followers up 41.3% from the previous week

I stand corrected – Kirpa could be a factor in this love riddle after all.

A rose at the ceremony keeps the 26-year-old dental hygienist around for at least one more week, but she feels like an eventual casualty of the dreaded two-on-one date. #Prediction

14. NICOLE

Last week: 14 – IG followers up 27.5% from the previous week

Wants to help kids and individuals with autism so I’m rooting for her. I think Nicole, however, might be a bit too much for Colton. Don’t have a great feeling about her.

That said, I envision her starring in paradise one of these years.

15. CAELYNN

Last week: 3 – IG followers up 17.7% from the previous week

How quickly the game can change…?

A week after being chosen first at the rose ceremony, Caelynn had to wait until there were only three roses remaining before hearing her name called.

16. CAITLIN

Last week: 12 – IG followers up 30.3% from the previous week

Canada’s last remaining hope. Obviously rooting for her. I don’t see it, but I hope I’m wrong.

(Prove me wrong, Caitlin. Please!)

17. CATHERINE

Last week: 10 – IG followers up 72.5% from the previous week

Where’s her dog?!?!……………..(seriously, where is it?)

After coming out of week one as the main villain, Catherine was overtaken by Demi this week.

If not as the villain, Catherine has no business being on the show. Demi’s coming out party may have triggered the end of her brief run as the mansion bitch. We shall see.

18. TRACY

Last week: 11 – IG followers up 13.4% from the previous week

Can’t handle the heat.

If not by Demi, Tracy will be broken by another woman (or possibly even Colton) before long.

*Gives off the vibe of a heavy smoker, no?*

19. NINA

Last week: 21 – IG followers up 105.1% from the previous week

Nearly went home before snagging the second-to-last rose.

More than doubled her Instagram following! CONGRATS! (Already getting her money’s worth!)

The 30-year-old Croatian needs to elevate her game, or she risks becoming a total afterthought in this competition. *Afterthoughts don’t get roses*

 

ELIMINATED *BETTER LUCK IN PARADISE*

ALEX B

  • (last week: 4)
  • IG followers up 16% from the previous week

ERIKA

  • (last week: 8)
  • IG followers up 14.4% from the previous week

ANGELIQUE

  • (last week: 19)
  • IG followers up 2.8% from the previous week

ANNIE

  • (last week: 20)
  • IG followers up 6.9% from the previous week

 

*IG data based on counts taken from Jan. 11 and Jan 15.
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