Top Democrats frantically crowdsourcing vital organs to keep Justice Ginsburg alive

Politico – Ruth Bader Ginsburg needs a bloody miracle. Dare I say quite literally. People need to bleed and organs need to be freed to keep this sputtering granny alive and kicking. The fate of America as we know hinges on some young people dying so an old nan can live.

After breaking three ribs roughly six weeks ago in a fall that screams “Brett Kavanaugh party foul”, Ginsburg had surgery today to remove a pair of malignant growths on her left lung. At this point, the 85-year-old Supreme Court Judge should just hang them up. Like a runner attempting a comeback after suffering his/her umpteenth torn knee ligament, enough is enough. Judges have more than one robe, don’t they?

Ginsburg, a.k.a. America’s most beloved grandma not to mention its most accomplished Super Diva, should, at the very least, trade her robe(s) in for a vest and enjoy life’s remaining years judging shoppers as a retail greeter, for her time judging cases needs to end. She’s done her part is what I’m saying. All the years shaping American law will serve Ginsburg well in her hypothetical new role. I mean, who could possibly be better at sniffing out crime than an individual with 25 years of service as a Supreme Court Judge? Ruth knows what guilty looks like – SHOW ME YOUR RECEIPT, SIR!

However, it appears such a move will have to wait.

At a recent luncheon, Senate Minority Leader, Chuck Schumer, was asked about the possibility of The Resistance’s most important ladyyyy pulling the plug on her Supreme Court tenure. He was painfully clear in his stance on the matter:

“Given the current political climate, we cannot responsibly allow Justice Ginsburg to step down from her position. She’s a strong woman going through some unfortunate health-related events, but with time and rest, we are confident she will return to the bench before long,”

– Chuck Schumer, on the potential of Ruth Bader Ginsburg stepping down following numerous health scares including f***ing cancer surgery

*not a real quote

While it’s easy to be turned off by Schumer’s lack of compassion for a visibly ailing American hero, the young and spry *relatively speaking* 68-year-old deli owner in a past life deserves some sympathy given the circumstances, as a departing Ginsburg would leave the Dems severely shorthanded on the bench of America’s highest court. With this being the unfortunate reality, the DNC expects the native of Brooklyn, NY to remain in her robe for the foreseeable future, at least until such time that the blue team gets to make a pick in the draft.

Stay strong, Ruth!


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