Child forced to consult Cannabis Act after lemonade-weed stand shut down by local authorities

“Not only does this discourage small business, but it also prohibits my daughter from learning how to adapt to the dynamic business environment she finds herself living in, in 2018,” explained Wendy Williams, a resident of Toronto, Ontario, on the day Canada legalized cannabis for recreational use.

She continued –

“Children nowadays grow up so fast. My little pumpkin is six and already on her third smartphone, having lost two on school field trips. It’s unacceptable that her vision to pair a now legal substance, with her already neighbourhood-famous lemonade, has been axed by money-hungry politicians. You can bet the government will hear from me. My daughter is an entrepreneur and deserves the right to flex her innovative muscles.”

A final question: Now that it’s legal, is micro-dosing a child who refuses to eat anything with cannabis considered “bad parenting”? Maybe give it a try?*

(Happy Cannabis Legalization Day, Canada!)

*Not a doctor

**Wendy Williams is not a real person (I mean, she probably is. It’s a common name, so there are likely plenty of them). That said, I assure you nobody carrying that name was interviewed in the process of creating this satirical piece

 

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