The President was quoted as saying – “I respect the martial arts community what they do is very impressive so impressive and frankly it’s more impressive than the likes of LeBron James or Don Lemon and what they do with their fake news and unintelligentness that’s a word believe me what you people do with your hands and feet is amazing it really is but this belt is too black it’s too dark and if I’m being honest which let’s face it I always am it’s not my favourite color and therefore can I trouble you Mr. Sensei for a white one? —– what do you think Ivanka? How does daddy look with his new white belt?” *vomit-inducing flex*

Ivanka reportedly smiled and nodded.

President Trump then chugged a can of Coke before departing for Mar-a-Lago.