TONIC – Ok people, the debate is over…
Turns out smoking weed makes cardio exercises more tolerable. It can transform running into a therapeutic experience for some. It’s also been shown to improve “respiratory capacity”…(!?!?!)
I feel like a proud father. I can’t express how happy this makes me — seeing a fad I’ve long supported (and practiced) finally get the airtime it rightfully deserves.
Weed heightens any experience…zero exceptions. The right dosage, with the right attitude, and literally anything becomes more enjoyable.
– ‘My Hill‘
Opinions should be fluid — able to change with the times and introduction of new information. However, also true is the reality that humans have “hills” on which they are fully prepared to die on, regardless of evidence presented on behalf of the contrary. My Hill is green and smells like a spray-happy mammal. Turns out skunks are not rodents after all.
What I say is true though! — The proper amount of marijuana transforms any activity for the better. Even while driving, weed has its benefits; you’re less likely to blow a gasket when somebody inevitably cuts you off, and tend to drive slower (sometimes, very slow)…Mary Jane riding shotgun will provide a calming influence; a helpful yet silent backseat driver (THE BEST KIND)…Did I mention she cures cancer in her spare time? Also makes food taste better, sex twice as nice, and possesses the unique ability to make the not-so-funny at least kinda funny.
With runners now onboard, can we not all agree there is nothing this dirty stinky leaf can’t make objectively better?
Elite-level runners stating their affection for Red Eye Running is a game changer! As much as I enjoy a good run, it can be quite boring. Throw the devil’s lettuce into the mix and a boring run becomes a euphoric and enriching exercise experience. Advocates of the world famous gateway drug can now point to ultra-marathoners as proof it’s merely a gateway to a good time (not to mention improved lung performance, motherf*ckers!).
The scientific research states otherwise and typically I’ll toot the horn of science but not here. In this case, science can f* right off — jogging high is truly a wonderful experience, I say that having had the first-hand experience required to make such a claim. I blaze before practically every run I go on…if you try it and gas out before the corner, don’t go blaming the weed, k? — there are other factors in play, tubby.
If you’re new to herb, start small but remember, there’s a dosage for everybody and everything. It can morph something bad into something good, and something good into something even better. Very rarely, if consumed responsibly, does it make a situation worse.
The debate is over, folks — weed is a miracle drug — the marathoner’s drug, whether you’re running or Netflixing, it has a place in everybody’s life. Zero exceptions. Don’t believe me…? Meet me on the hill.
Lock two strangers in a room with unlimited alcohol and they’ll wind up fighting, probably to the death. Lock two strangers in a room with a sack of weed and a Costco-sized bag of Munchies, they’ll become best friends.
Green is good — for those still opposed, stop lying to yourself.