Lost amidst the chaos caused by a soccer team’s spelunking mission gone terribly wrong was news that some Costco stores in ‘Murica plan to phase out Polish sausages from their food-court offering…while replacing them with items known for having an abundance of ‘plant-based proteins’?!? GTFOH.
How do you explain taking away this meaty delicacy from a customer base that literally pays just to enter your warehouse? As if the forcing of people into purchasing obscene quantities of everything wasn’t enough?! Now you’re gonna rob them of what many have called ‘the best weiner in America‘?
I’m no stranger to the Costco food court…or the aroma that engulfs you as you approach its counter, manned undoubtedly by a disgruntled and sweaty employee who happens to be wearing a pair of jeans, a basic shirt, and absolutely nothing to identify them as an actual employee. Do you even work here? I’ve long loved the blatant overlooking of the need for uniforms. I still want to pretend I work there sometime…
Anyways, those sausages and most everything else behind that counter are fucking delicious. And super cheap!
As for what will be added as the replacement? Costco has announced it will be replacing the classic ballpark (also warehouse) snack with healthier options. That’s comical when you consider what makes the typical Costco shopper tick…it certainly isn’t a big bowl of kale with gluten-free garnishes.
People are mad. Furious as a matter of fact. Some have gone so far as to state their intentions to scrap their membership as a result of the newly implemented food court restrictions…
Kip…just sounds like a Costco customer. Not anymore.
Meanwhile, Costco isn’t the only company depriving its customers of valued perks. Imagine the horror of going peanutless on a flight? I personally don’t like peanuts. Never have. Plus, those shelled menaces are forever trying to kill people. I got no need for peanuts, k? I could even survive without the butter.
Indeed…what has the world come to? It could very well be coming to an end…best go to Costco to load up on supplies. Just make sure you eat before.