Après la rose: (Ep. 6) *The arrival of Leo (and I officially have no effing clue who’s gonna win this)*

Chris is a fighter, and Becca knocked him the **** out…on her couch! In a figurative sense of course. *Womp, Womp…*

Supporters of Chris — certainly not his father — won’t have to wait long for the Snake’s return! Later this summer, he will continue his pursuit of love on Bachelor in Paradise — along with several other castmates from this season…Cool.


In what has already been a season filled with madness and chaos, the sixth instalment of season fourteen saw plenty more craziness on display, especially in the group date portion.

Along the way were two stellar one-on-one performances: with both Jason and Leo acing their respective solo auditions. And in case you weren’t aware, Virginia is for Lovers

Also –

– Abe Lincoln and George Washington are still alive?!?!

– Lincoln goes to the well one time too many — (trying to sell Becca on the idea that another competitor’s actions have made him feel unsafe). LOOK AT YOUR ARMS, DUDE!

– Garrett gets robbed on the group date

…and did I mention Virginia is, in fact, for lovers?

Down to six! (Click here for last week’s)

1. Jason

Last week: 5

A week after claiming Jason had little to no shot, here he is as the new No.1 — that date was clinical and too much to ignore — he even navigated through an unhappy hour gimmick featuring a gathering of gothic weirdos. The guy is beaming with confidence.

And Becca herself is just smitten over him. Awwwwwwwww.

All this time I’ve been ripping on the city of Buffalo…completely dismissing the fact that Becca comes from the gritty state of Minnesota. She probably finds Buffalo beautiful. She’s wrong, but whatever…this is her story.


2. Garrett –

Last week: 2

It’s clear by now that Garrett is my ride-or-die…I’m going down with the ship if it comes to that.

It’s ironic how this season started; his character being called into question, stemming from past posts on social media. But the reality is this…Garrett is the ultimate good guy.

While I’ve gone on record as saying this is his race to lose, after pulling off the impossible in the premiere (arrive in a minivan and subsequently be chosen as the best first impression), Becca not giving him the rose on the most recent group date scares me.

(While it would require him to lose, the thought of Garrett as the next Bachelor is enticing. Just imagine how some of the dates and conversations would go. This man deserves love and somebody oughta give it to him.)

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3. Colton –

Last week: 4

Nope, not a typo.

Becca loves Colton just cause he’s there. I don’t even think he has to talk at this point — the dog park answer?! Gimme a ****ing break. Getting the rose on the group date was pure larceny. I’m still fuming…

Sure, you could argue that he deserves the No.2 spot here or maybe even top billing. But I’m not ready to make that leap (and probably never will be).

Putting him in the top-3 was difficult enough.

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4. Leo 

Last week: 6

He finally got his shot and given the circumstances, did very well.

Becca gave Leo his first one-on-one but it, unfortunately, came the day after she had to clean up a shit left by Lincoln and Chris’ bickering. He got an emotionally exhausted bachelorette as a result.

But thankfully Leo’s calm demeanour, and overall gentle presence helped bring her back to life. Mind you, that plane tour did appear to lack conversation.

(Overall gentle presence? Look at me go!)

Has arrived, and after passing his first real test, Leo appears to be a serious contender as the show approaches the home stretch.

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5. Blake –

Last week: 1

Blake, when not alone with Becca, struggles to make any serious impact. He did a lot of his work early on in the season and has been reaping the rewards week after week.

It’s entirely possible he climbs right back to the top after next week’s tropical adventure. You just never know with this bloody show — a banker from Buffalo is suddenly the favourite!

The drop from the top, to near the bottom, is perhaps a tad harsh but I need to start seeing some more effort in group settings from Blake. Just seems kinda stuck at the present moment.


6. Wills –

Last week: 3

The title of Graphic Designer, along with a deep affection for Hogwarts graduates, paints Wills as a nerd in a way. However, everything else about him screams (!)BOSS(!) — his handling of conflicts, his style, and accompanying wardrobe are a few examples.

Even with all that he’s done and said, Wills is going to come up short. And honestly, I think it has more to do with Becca than it does him. I fear he might actually be a bit too OG for the more reserved Bachelorette.

I hope I’m wrong with this prediction, believe me. If Wills wins this whole damn thing, he and Becca would make some cute ass babies.

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– – – – – That’s Too Bad – – – – –

The first to go was Chris who, upon seeing Leo return from the one-on-one, stormed over to Becca’s hotel room. He could’ve (and probably should have) mailed a letter…overnight that shit, Chris!

But he didn’t.

And so came one of the worst attempts at a relationship save ever caught on television…

Let me just say that when they showed Chris aggressively writing in his room, I laughed out very loud. I understand the different circumstances but this man’s unwavering commitment to the hand-written word is both comical and admirable. Lean whichever way you please. I know which way I’m favouring.

From there, it was onto yet another cocktail-less rose ceremony — everyone always seems so bummed when they get cancelled…speaking of which, does Harrison ever deliver good news?!

Lincoln and Connor were the two sent home…an outcome easily predicted from the outset. Now, it really is anybody’s game.

Hometowns lurk, and we all know what that means…

(Special shoutout to Dominos for their paving efforts)


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