Alex Ovechkin’s treats us to a HAPPY #MeToo moment (meanwhile, a woman attempts to hijack an epic celly by dropping her cups)

I hope we can, one day, resurrect what was once upon a time a joyful response used to communicate a shared experience.

Wait! You’ve also, after being blatantly cut off, pulled up alongside the culprit to tell them to suck your **** cause some people have no fucking clue how to merge onto a highway…

ME TOO!

(or something like that…)

 

For far too long — 12+ years to be precise — the story of Alex Ovechkin has been one filled with countless highlight-reel goals (and not so many teeth).

He’s never been shy to dish out thunderous body checks, or even to block a shot traveling in the realm of 100 mph…two endangered qualities amongst modern-day superstars.

But…there’s always been a but blemishing what is otherwise a stellar hockey resumé.

“…BUT he’s never won a Stanley Cup (so who fucking cares how great he is!)”

Well, ladies and gentlemen, Ovi finally fucking pulled it off! So it’s time for all of you to FACKKKK right off! — pfff, he beat an expansion team…

(Punch anybody with that take square in the face…I certainly would).


In his 13th NHL season, Ovi became the first Russian-born captain to lead a team to Lord Stanley’s mug, and in typical fashion, he did it while scoring more goals than anybody (figures) and wound up finishing third overall in playoff scoring, trailing teammates Evgeni Kuznetsov and Nik Backstrom.

Ovechkin’s performance also netted him his first Conn Smythe trophy…but he couldn’t have given two shits about that. All he wanted was to get his hands on what is undoubtedly the coolest trophy in sports — listen, people, it’s not even a bloody contest!

(I’m not crying, you’re crying…)

Find me a better championship celly…ever — won’t happen!

And it’s only gotten better as the hours and days have passed. Pardon the Russian doodlings (apparently a language), but try not to fall in love with this man after watching his post-Cup shenanigans…

(Does anybody else actually get a day with the Cup, or is it just his until training camp?)

 

From raving with Tiësto to swimming in a fountain, The Great Eight has been living life to the absolute fullest since his team defeated the Vegas Golden Knights last Thursday. It marked not only the first Cup for Ovechkin, but for the franchise as well. Truthfully, if you can’t get on board with Ovi’s championship antics, your heart is black.

Now we wait to see what the White House celebration has in store. My god, the possibilities are endless — does Vlad get an invite?

(Ovechkin even got Jimmy Fallon to do a Stanley Cup keg stand) — is it just me or does Ovi look a tad burnt out at this point? Understandable seeing as he’s basically been drinking for 96+ hours straight.

Never change, Alex! And in the words of the guy who now stoically suggests we all buy Lincoln automobiles –

Just.Keep.Livin.

 

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